She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
