he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
