I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
you never un-have a 4some
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