That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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