he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
