he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
