just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
what day is it and did you see me today?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
