I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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