I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Drake has all the answers
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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