Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
