Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
