did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
