So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
