i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
