We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
