scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
