i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
