yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
