Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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