In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
