She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
