Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
