playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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