Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
