i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize