Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
