worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
