so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
