problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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