i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she woke up with a sticky ear
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
