I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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