I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
