carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize