I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
