Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
