dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
