Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this will be a night to untag.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Panties = found
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
