Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
