Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
