By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
