I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
