Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
