Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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