All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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