The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
