Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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