you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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