after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
