I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
