I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
