whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
