I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
