I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
