Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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