yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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