Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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