it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we made out on top of his cat.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Randomize
