Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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