too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
