Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize