Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize