How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
