I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
