i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you still have your period?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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