dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
