I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize