I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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