and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
