I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
its liver damage thursday
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
