I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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