Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
