when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
