you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
