i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
